Why do so many men hide parts of themselves, especially from the most important people in their lives? What’s to gain when men get real with their emotions? This episode explores these questions and takes a look at five habits that help men show up as their whole selves.
Christopher Veal is a former US Marine Corp officer, combat veteran, and a Black man with 25 years of experience in talent and leadership development. He hosts The Vulnerable Man podcast, is a TEDx speaker, and he is the author of The Whole Man: Evolving Masculinity.
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2:50 Christopher’s journey
8:00 Obstacles for men to feel safe being vulnerable at work
11:19 Unwritten rules for how and when to express anger
12:03 How we process emotions makes them “good” or “bad”
14:46 How to express anger in a healthy way
17:46 Healthy masculinity vs. unhealthy masculinity
21:09 Five habits of the Whole Man
23:00 Using presence to improve the quality of relationships
What Christopher sees as the greatest unmet workplace wellbeing need
“It’s helping people feel like they can bring more of themselves into the workplace and into the work they do. One of the biggest gifts of the pandemic is that it's allowing us to see into the worlds of our colleagues, and it helps humanize each other. I can't count the number of zoom calls that I've been on lately, where someone says, 'Hey, if any pets or little humans enter [the video], you've got to just pause and introduce them.'
And there's a way that it really just helps us bring our lives into what we're doing for work in a way that we didn't really have permission to do a couple years ago. And so, I love that because we get to connect. And for me, that is the central word to everything. As humans, we're hardwired for connection. And the more than we can allow ourselves to do that and make it okay to do it. That's what's going to change things.”
What “working with humans” means to Christopher
“At its core, I think it's about connection. We are always in relationship when we work with humans. And the more that we can really be present when we do that and show up as ourselves, it also gives other people the permission to do the same.
I think it's also about acceptance, which I want to be clear, doesn't have to mean agreement. Now, you and I can disagree about some things. And I will always strive to accept you as a human regardless of our differing viewpoints. And if we can do that, that's going to help us connect with our humanity and understand what we have in common instead of focusing on what divides us and is differentiated about us.”
Visit: Christopher's website
Listen: The Vulnerable Man Podcast
Watch: TEDxBend: Deeper Connection, Better World
Watch: Brené Brown on The Power of Vulnerability